Forever Reblog! Instagram and Poetry

never understood 14/30

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 01:09:21 -0400

I am not understood
or accepted
at least not the real me
the version they project
what they think will happen when I’m “healed”
that is who they accept

they won’t accept
or understand
the woman who doesn’t cook
(who hates cooking)
(who underappreciates the meaning of it)

they won’t accept
or understand
the woman who doesn’t like childen
(who never wants them)
(who can’t deal with the familial system)

They’ll never accept
or understand
exactly who I am
and I understand that
but it doesn’t make it easy
because I’m never listened to
when I tell them the truth

Narrow 13/30

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:39:13 -0400

There’s no room, for someone
someone like me
I don’t fit the world
the box
I am not the woman they want me to be
believe me to be
assume me to be

I take my antidepressants
when there is “a herb that does the same thing”
but it doesn’t
it hurts
I tried

misunderstood
projected
broken

I never feel less of a woman
less of a person
than when I’m around them

my existence goes against their world
it is, for some reason, unfathomable
half a week more to go

12/30

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:36:22 -0400

Failed glares at me

Through the shiny backlit glass

Fought with tears

As the light streams in

Too cold and half warm

My skin slinks in

My stomach turns in fitful rage

Failed still glares

As the E-ring turns

Cut off from the world

Isolation fails to console

Instead induces slight panic

Because my social skills are failing too.

Insomnia 11/30 #30in30

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:15:14 -0400

Insomnia 11/30 #30in30

Vacation day one 10/30 #30in30

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:27:07 -0400

Vacation day one 10/30 #30in30

An Ode to Wifi 9/30

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 07:34:01 -0400

wifi wifi on my phone
actually, where the hell did you go?

"God we fuck up teenagers’ heads. We tell them that biological conditions are moral punishments and..."

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 13:28:59 -0400

“

God we fuck up teenagers’ heads. We tell them that biological conditions are moral punishments and then we get all shocked when they don’t practice rational risk management of biological conditions. We teach them “sex is super desirable and all the cool kids do it, and it’s hideously shameful and will destroy your life” and we wonder why they act an eensy bit neurotic about it. If you tried to design a system for making sexually active kids confused and unsafe, you couldn’t do much better than the American media and school system.

And for once, the answer is relatively simple. Just talk about sex like it’s a part of life. Some people have sex and some people don’t, because people are different. STIs aren’t bad because they’re Dirty Crotch Rot; they’re bad because they’re contagious illnesses like strep throat or whooping cough, and you can ask a doctor to check for and treat them just like you would with strep throat. Unwanted pregnancy isn’t a scarlet A; it’s a mostly-preventable accident that sometimes occurs when people are going about their normal business of having sex. You can ask the school counselor about a variety of topics, including career planning, problems at home, questions about sex, or conflicts with teachers.

If we could just get the goddamn stick out of our collective ass and accept that sex is a human activity and teenagers are humans, maybe there wouldn’t be quite so many plaintive “I don’t understand my body and I’m confused and scared and I don’t know anyone I can ask in person” messages flying out into the world.

”

- The Pervocracy - “Teenage Panic.” (via klonazepam)

midnight 8/30

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 20:51:22 -0400

superhero shirt
red converse boots
phone
nintendo
tickets

watching the clock
killing time
disjointed thoughts
excitement

Photo

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 20:37:58 -0400

allthenobodypeople: gingerhaze: feminspire: alyssakorea: Tumb...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 20:33:58 -0400

allthenobodypeople:

gingerhaze:

feminspire:

alyssakorea:

Tumbling over the past year and a half has made me see the problems of gender roles that exist in media, but sometimes it gets to the point where I over analyze every single piece of television or film that I come across. (However this in no way means that I think feminist media criticism is wrong, or should be avoided!) Mostly I just over think everything.

I’ve thought about this a lot and I think the answer is MORE, and MORE DIVERSE female characters.

We’re used to having one or two female characters in a cast of mostly men, and hold them to a higher standard because of that. So all of feminism is resting on the shoulders of one female character - and that DOESN’T WORK. Because there isn’t one right way to be a woman.

If casts had more diversity of gender, we could have warrior women and non-warrior women, sexual women and non-sexual women, feminine and non-feminine, and mixtures of all of the above…all are completely legitimate ways to be a woman.

We’re used to seeing a lot of hypersexualized, scantily clad, one-dimensional stereotypes of women without stories or motives of their own. We respond by asking for characters that AREN’T THAT, but we may end up pushing too far in the opposite direction, and demonize traits like sexuality, conventional attractiveness, and traditional femininity as “sexist.” That’s why the most popular female characters are the ones that are most similar to male heroes - the Arya Starks - emotionally distant, unattached, solve their problems with violence, not remotely sexual. That’s fine too of course. I love Arya. It’s just not…the only way to be.

MORE FEMALE CHARACTERS.

OH MY GOD, YES. WORDS. THOUGHTS. THAT THING^ This has been all of my thoughts all week.

mattmccullar: drakmarth: chirart: sometimes if you vomit...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 20:30:59 -0400

mattmccullar:

drakmarth:

chirart:

sometimes if you vomit enough rainbow and explanation marks it does make a difference!!!!

What is great about this is not only the difference made, but proof that people have a skewed version of feminism that is perpetuated by patriarchy, misunderstanding and stand-up comedians looking for the cheap laugh.

It isn’t about giving women an unfair advantage over men, it isn’t about hating men and stubbing cigarettes out on their arms, it’s about giving women the opportunities they deserve. Everyone should have the opportunity of a better life and not just a life expected of them by others outdated views.

What Drakmarth said. Feminism isn’t about making women superior to men (though some may argue they are anyway), it’s about EQUALITY. Everyone should be able to get behind that.

allthenobodypeople: Mr. Sulu, remind me never to piss you...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:21:10 -0400

allthenobodypeople:

Mr. Sulu, remind me never to piss you off.

yeesssss someone made this moment into a gifset. <3

Are Women Human?: Re: On Transgender Characters

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:09:53 -0400

Are Women Human?: Re: On Transgender Characters:

amydentata:

dgaider:

If it were in your power, would you feature a trans* character as a lead, or do you think that that would be putting too much on the writing team’s shoulders? As someone who is highly involved in the game industry, do you think there would be a backlash from the industry or fans if a trans* character was a lead? Is video game culture ready for a trans* companion? — venak-hol

No, I don’t think video game culture is ready for transgender characters— not as major plot characters, and certainly not as a lead. It’s not ready for major characters that are gay, either. Heck, it’s barely ready for ones which are female.

Does that mean the industry should wait until it is? Probably not.

Yet I am also not the one whose money is being put on the line when it comes to making a major game. With hundreds of millions of dollars now sunk into your average video game title, it could perhaps be viewed as understandable why publishers would be risk-averse. The tried-and-true is safer. The audience they already have, and have had since gaming’s inception, is safer. Or is it? […]

This isn’t a question of what videogame culture is ready for. As an employee at a AAA games company, you are speaking about what the AAA industry is ready for, without even realizing it.

The mainstream industry’s inertia is caused by the people who pull the purse strings—the publishers and the shareholders and the CEOs. Most of whom are straight cisgender white men. They’re afraid of change for two reasons: 1) They’re worried it will hurt their profit margins, and 2) They themselves are afraid of things that don’t appeal to them personally.

Outside of the industry, meanwhile, in the land of videogame culture, people have already been producing games with transgender people, people of color, and women. While the AAA industry keeps churning out franchise sequels and New IP with the Same Old Gameplay.

One more thing: The “videogame culture” you are speaking of is specifically the one you, as a cis white male, are most familiar with: the cis white male gamer culture. I am most familiar with trans women gamer culture. We’re the ones who felt betrayed by the brothel scene in Dragon Age: Origins. We’re the ones who kept on playing DA (though fewer in number this time) despite that, only to get backstabbed again. We’re the ones who are quickly getting fed up with AAA games screwing us over for a cheap laugh or ignoring us altogether.

We certainly have our own specific interests, but, being women, we’re also a part of a larger gaming culture: women gamer culture. The ones who make YouTube videos about overusing the damsel in distress trope, and get rightfully angry about sexualizing female characters to ridiculous extremes.

We get horrible representation and women in refrigerators all the time, and despite that we trudge on. Why? Because we’re gamers.

And you know what? We are ready for transgender characters. We’re dying for them. We’re ready for women leads, whether they’re trans or cis. We are ready for this. You, the developers, publishers, and producers, are not.

You still define “gamer culture” as “the group of people that can’t handle trans people or women as main characters”. When trans people and women are a part of gamer culture.

So we will continue to produce the games we want, the games we need, according to our own means. And the AAA industry will continue to excuse itself from its own audience, and become irrelevant over time from its own inertia.

That irrelevance is already showing itself in the negative reactions to the next console generation, because the industry is failing not just women and minorities, it’s failing gamers as a whole right now. There’s a reason entire consoles are being Kickstarted into existence, and why developers are circumventing traditional publishers to get their games made and distributed. The publishing money wants to stay in the hands of cis white men, and the rest of us aren’t having it.

Enjoy your bubble.

Muse 7/30

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 23:45:00 -0400

lust is shamed
most would agree
but is shame just a guise
to disguise our jealousy?

perpetuating the problem
ignoring the cause
because everyone is hiding
the shame that’s thrust upon

if biology was just biology
and shame was never a factor
if we could just be
regardless of our gender

would women be less?
hiding, afraid?
would men still be privileged,
but hiding, ashamed?

or would we be equal
and not have to point
or shame each other
to hide our lust and jealousy?

thescienceofjohnlock:

Wed, 12 Jun 2013 13:02:44 -0400

thescienceofjohnlock:

Photo

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 23:17:28 -0400

Photo

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:50:42 -0400

I’ll just leave this here….

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:49:09 -0400

I’ll just leave this here….

Day 4 of being unable to draw 6/30

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:51:54 -0400

I want to draw
and paint
and immerse

the overcast
cool breeze
petrichor and sea
reminds me of home
of hurricane days

days made for creating
for drawing and reading
for immerssion into other worlds
with the breeze dancing across my skin

days like today
my dex is gone
creating with ink
is an impossible ability

energy is lost
brain powers are nil
the best I can do
is wait for it to pass
soak in the breeze
and remember the muse

sweetmadameblue: John Oliver takes over tonight on The Daily...

Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:21:59 -0400

sweetmadameblue:

John Oliver takes over tonight on The Daily Show!